Natural Birth and Baby Care.com

Sex During Pregnancy

Yes ladies - I'm writing this for you ;p

Thankfully the subject of sex during pregnancy is less taboo then it once was. Becoming a mother doesn't mean you've suddenly stopped being a woman who enjoys lovemaking. In fact, pregnancy can be a wonderful time to make love to your man - you may find that you're more physically sensitive - and you're free from worrying about getting pregnant ;)

I'll discuss sex during pregnancy by trimester.

First Trimester

This can be a trimester of mixed feelings (actually, mixed feelings can remain common throughout pregnancy). Physically your body is about the same as it was pre-pregnancy. You can enjoy all the same lovemaking positions you did before. However, you may be battling with nausea and fatigue - which can certainly hamper desire.

You may find, as many women do, that your breasts become very sensitive and may change in size and fullness. It's normal to enjoy this - and it's also normal to find that you suddenly have no interest in your husband touching your breasts!

Enjoyment may increase as you find yourself free to fully experience lovemaking - without worrying about birth control or worrying about trying to conceive. Timing, temperatures, contraceptives, and all that goes along with them are gone!

And you may find yourself wondering about the baby. You may worry about miscarriage, which could cause hesitation about having sex during pregnancy. If you've had previous miscarriages consult your midwife or doctor, and listen to your own intuition about what you feel comfortable with.

If you find that you are feeling nauseous and tired be sure to take care of yourself. Nap when you can. Eat frequently to help overcome nausea. Some women find that making love can help ease nausea as natural hormones overwhelm pregnancy hormones, at least for a short time!

You'll find that communication with your husband is key for enjoying sex during pregnancy - no matter what trimester. Tell him how you're feeling, and what you're worried about. Be open to listening to him as well.

Second Trimester

This trimester is generally the favorite trimester. Not surprisingly, sex during pregnancy is generally favored most during the second trimester! You'll most likely feel your energy return, nausea fade, and you won't be big enough to feel awkward.

Second trimester can be a time to experiment more as your belly begins to grow and show! Some positions may be uncomfortable for you. Try out different ones - woman on top, side lying, and "doggie style" positions can work well.

You may also still be physically sensitive around your breasts and private areas. Be sure to talk with your husband about what you like and what you don't like - he won't know unless you tell him.

Fear of miscarriage is generally fading by the start of the second trimester, allowing you to enjoy lovemaking without that worry - and of course you still don't have to worry about getting pregnant!

If you have any indications of preterm labor you shouldn't have sex - in fact, your care provider will probably put you on bedrest. But if you're having a healthy pregnancy there is no reason to change the frequency of lovemaking (or stop) unless you want to.

Some women find that during pregnancy they want to have sex more than pre-pregnancy. Other women find they want less sex. Both are normal, and it's good to discuss things with your husband. Remember he still has feelings and desires too.

Something that may surface as you begin to show is a conflict over identifiying yourself as being a mother - and identifying as being a woman and lover. You may find yourself turning inward and focusing on nurturing your baby. The thought of making love may just not appeal to you as you want to focus completely on the baby.

Men sometimes find this feeling comes up for them as well - your husband may see you as the mother of his child, and someone to be protected. It may feel strange to him to make love to you "now that you are a mother."

These are natural feelings - and you need to talk about them. Find a balance that makes both of you comfortable - as with all relationship issues there may be some comprise and adjustments needed.

Third Trimester

This trimester you're going to find fatigue returning. At the same time you may have bursts of energy where you feel like you can conquer the world - this is, of course, "nesting."

You'll also be very pregnant at this point - the fun comes with finding positions to make love in! Woman on top positions may be your best bet for your own pleasure. Side-lying positions may also work. Communication (as always) is key. Talk to your man and tell him what feels good and what doesn't. Listen to him, too.

Fatigue may work against you during lovemaking - you could just get plain worn out. Ask your husband to change positions, take a break and just cuddle, or ask him to more fully support your movements. Remember you can be intimate without having sex during pregnancy (or any other time!) There may be times when intimate touch or oral pleasure will work better than intercourse for you (oral sex is OK during pregnancy as long as your husband does not forcefully blow into your vagina.)

While on the topic of alternate activities vibrators and other "toys" are generally thought to be safe during pregnancy as long as you keep them clean and are not forceful with them. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable stop and talk to your husband!

Many feelings that arose before can be true in this trimester as well - feeling like your focus is on the baby and mothering. And your husband may feel that way too. Talk about things.

You can be assured that sex during pregnancy - even in the third trimester - isn't going to hurt your baby. Your body has changed quite a bit though, and you may have noticed increased blood flow all over - including everything between your legs. This extra blood could enhance your pleasure, and it could also make you more sensitive and some things uncomfortable. Your cervix has also changed and could be more sensitive. Again, be sure to talk with your husband if anything hurts, is too intense, or feels just wonderful!

Time to Explore

Sex during pregnancy can be a lot of fun for both you and your husband. As I've mentioned several times, however, you need to communicate well. Talk about feelings - both physical and emotional. This will ensure that you're both enjoying yourselves. Remember there may be some days and times when you won't feel physically or emotionally up to making love. This is ok too. Pregnancy is a unique time in your life when you can feel very free to enjoy lovemaking. Your enhanced emotions and sensations can also make things quite pleasurable for you! Enjoy your explorations!