by Sam (SA)

Hi there…

I have a 7 month old girl who seems to show aggression towards other babies.

If sitting in the company of other babies she will charge crawl towards one, climb on them, grap a foot or hand and bite. She will scratch their face and pull their hair. She pushes them over and works herself up till she starts crying. As if she is frustrated, angry almost.

We have to pull her off as she makes the other babies cry from her actions. It's so upsetting to watch and other moms are horrified at what they see happening to their little ones. I was under the impression girl babies are alot calmer and gentler in nature than boys, but my lil girl shows none of this.

She's our first baby, and the first grandchild so she gets tons and tons of hugs and kisses and affection. I don't know if she means well with her actions, if it's because she is teething or something more serious.

It started off funny, but getting more concerning everytime. 🙁

Answer:

Hi Sam,

It can be really distressing to see your little one get aggressive towards others. It's completely normal for babies and toddlers of both sexes to show agression. It's much more of a personality thing than a gender thing, though as they grow boys do tend to be more rough-and-tumble.

Like I said, it's pretty normal for babies, especially those that are getting more independent and mobile, to experiment with hitting, pushing, etc.

Frustration in babies, toddlers, and young kids often quickly changes to anger, as you see in your daughter.

I've found that the best response is to calmly but firmly remove the baby or toddler from the situation. Take the toy and then take them and sit with them firmly somewhere away from the situation until they are calm.

If you do this every time something happens, your little one will quickly learn that she needs to stay calm if she wants to play.

Don't let her take toys from other kids, but also don't let other kids take something she had first, which may frustrate her.

Parallel play is normal up into the preschool years, and “sharing” is a very hard concept for babies and toddlers to grasp. I would not try to enforce sharing of toys at this point because the concept is so hard for little ones to understand.

I would also try to redirect her to play with a toy if she keeps on charging other babies in a play group or other situation where she's around them. Keeping her in your lap when she does it, again, is another option. Help her to understand that's not okay. Remember to be calm, but firm. She will pick up a lot from your calm disapproval, even at such a young age.