Honor is one tough kid to do elimination communication with. See that second word in EC… “communication?” Well, Honor isn't really into that! Hah!
EC'ing with Cassidy, Brennan, and Galen (I didn't EC Asher and regret it)… it was easy compared to Honor. Honor just doesn't give signals really, at all.
Galen never, ever pooped in his diaper. He just didn't. He had one poop around 5 months old while we were traveling via van to our CSA — a 30 minute drive.
Otherwise, I can't really remember any other times he went in his diaper (he did pee in his diaper, and I'll admit he still has issues with peeing in his undies from time to time, especially when out playing). Brennan and Cassidy were also both pretty averse to soiling their pants.
But Honor? Honor really doesn't seem to care. She just goes! I'm able to keep her dry most of the time simply based on timing, and at 8 months she's pretty predictable with pees. I do better during the week than on the weekends because I tend to be more aware while we're also following our school day schedule.
Poops are not so predictable, however. She tends to go once a day or every other day, and they're a little more solid now that she's eating two meals a day every day — but they're still mostly soft and very messy if I miss them.
She doesn't signal. She doesn't give any indication whatsoever one is coming. If she's grunting, it's too late.
The only reliable indicators I have thus far are listening for her to pass gas or mother's intuition. If she's gassy and I immediately place her on her potty, I can usually catch. Sometimes I'll get a feeling and put her on the potty. I guess in a way the gas is a signal, but it doesn't feel very obvious. It's mostly a matter of hear the gas and RUN for the potty bowl.
The others squirmed, fussed, and otherwise made it known that they needed to go, and to hustle!
I do catch most of Honor's poops, but I also miss quite a few. It can get really frustrating. I'm hoping that she'll get less comfortable with it and start to squirm more…
I have been keeping her more bundled in the cold weather. As the weather starts to warm up in a couple of months, I'm thinking of keeping her on a prefold diaper over a large mat on lap (if she'll be content to sit there at point). That may help me to identify other cues. For now, I'll keep listening for her ever-so-subtle hints and go on any intuitive cues I get!
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Glad to hear we’re not the only ones missing out on the “communication” part! Sometimes I get a grunt before a poo, sometimes I get a smile after it’s done and I just have a feeling it’s in that diaper! And no signal whatsoever for a pee! We only started 3 weeks ago at 6 1/2 months, and I thought that accounted for the lack of signaling . . . but I guess some babies just don’t signal much! We do still manage to catch a few pees a day and even most poos (accidentally — I don’t know they’re coming — I just get lucky that he does them when I hold him over the toilet – or over the sink — whoops!).
I do think it’s that some babies don’t signal as much! I find that timing tends to work really well for pees — just getting a feel for how often the baby needs to go. Like you said, I often feel like poops are just lucky catches! I’ve gotten to where I offer a potty visit anytime I feel a sense that she may need to poop and I think that’s helped us catch many (and sometimes have an annoyed baby because she didn’t really need to go). It’s always an adventure, though… an very worth it when I think of the fact that we are catching some things and helping keep her awareness level high!
Your intuition sounds pretty keen, Kristen! I also think all the other clutter and noise in our modern lives keeps us from “sensing” the subtleness of the signals that are there (that we can’t seem to hear/see/feel). For example, when I do a phone/computer fast and limit my schedule, I am more attuned with DS’s signals. It’s pretty wild. Good news is that at 17 months he’s saying out loud “pee goes in the potty.” It will eventually fall into place as your other kids’ EC did…just looking a little different must be difficult! Love your sense of humor and patience with it all….xx