Natural Labor and Birth: Should You Always Be Calm & Confident?

Above moment captured by Photo: Art by Jessica, serving Aurora CO & Tucson AZ

In a way, I think this is more for dads, for grandmas, for sisters, for best friends – for those supporting mothers in labor. But it’s a good remind for mamas too…

I have helped at many births lately – two this week. Some go really fast, and some don’t go so fast. One of the ones this week was a first-time mama and her labor was a long labor. She did so well, doing what she needed to do, listening to her body and her baby, asking for help when she needed it.

But there were times when she doubted. Times when she needed someone to tell her that she didn’t need to worry about not being able to do it…

…because she WAS doing it.

Times when she felt out of control and she needed loving hands, understanding eyes, and calm helpers right there helping her get back into the flow of things and step into her power as a birthing woman.

And sometimes support people at birth need that reminder, too. The dad stepped out of the room for a break at this birth and said: “she was handling it well, but now she’s really losing it…” I just looked at him and reassured him: “Most women have time when they doubt themselves during labor. They think they can’t do this, they can’t handle it. It’s our job to remind her that she can. That she is. And then help her get back into her place of power.”

It’s OK if you doubt yourself during birth. And if any daddies or support people are reading this, it’s okay for her to doubt. It’s okay for her to yell and scream.

Anytime we tackle a task that pushes us, challenges us, and makes us draw on the strength we never knew we had will feel impossible at times… but just as you would support her through the ups and downs of training for a marathon, for climbing the career ladder, support her in this.

Be there for her. Remind her she can do this. She IS doing this. Help her breathe, help her move, and tell her she is powerful. Tell her she is beautiful. And know that it is true.

(NOTE: Want a Perfect Birth Plan Template? Use this template and step-by-step videos to write a birth plan that gets your birth team on your side for a beautiful birth experience! Get the birth plan kit here.)

Handle Labor Pain

About the author 


Kristen is a pregnancy coach, student midwife, and a mama to 8 - all born naturally! I've spent nearly two decades helping mamas have healthy babies, give birth naturally, and enjoy the adventure of motherhood. Does complete support for a sacred birth and beautiful beginning for your baby resonate with you? Contact me today to chat about how powerful guidance and coaching can transform your pregnancy, birth, and mothering journey <3

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