I wanted to have a unmedicated, natural birth so bad. I did tons of research and took a couple classes on it. But I started getting scared because I was going to give birth in a hospital with a doctor. My insurance wouldn't allow me to have a mid-wife and I couldn't afford a doula. So I felt like my odds for a natural childbirth were really stacked against me. But I kept on hoping and I would meditate and think of my intentions for a natural, easy childbirth.
My water broke at about 11:30 pm on a Sunday night. I wasn't sure if that was what it was, since it was my first pregnancy. I never felt any Braxton Hicks contractions. After a little bit, I realized yes… my water broke and woke up my husband.
There were no contractions or pain at first, but then about 45 minutes later, I started feeling like I was having bad cramps way down in my pelvis area. They made me feel on edge so I couldn't relax or go back to bed. I started to pace around. Then they got a lot more painful and started coming faster. They got so bad, I started to throw up.
My husband and I decided we better get to the hospital even though I had planned to labor at home as long as possible in order to avoid being induced or having the temptation of drugs.
I could no longer talk after a while because they were so close and painful. We got to the hospital about 4 hours later. They checked me at Triage and I was only 1 cm dilated. I let out a sad groan because usually they send you home if you are only that far dilated. I thought that I must be such a wuss if I am only that far and the pain is so bad already. But they said they would keep me because the contractions were so strong and close together.
I got into a room and went straight into the tub for some relief. It helped, but I had to get out only after a bit in order to keep the labor progressing. I did alot of leaning on the bed and on my husband.
About 3 hours later, they checked me and I was 6-7 cm dilated. Then I tried a birth ball and that was so awesome. I sat on that while my husband rubbed my back and I worked my way through the contractions, just concentrating on my breath and thinking to myself “just get through this one” for each contraction. They just got stronger and closer and I was starting to feel exhausted.
Then I started feeling like I had to poop while sitting on the ball. I let that feeling be there without telling anyone for about an hour because I didn't want to be pushing for a long time. I got up to try and go to the bathroom and when I sat on the toilet, the feeling to poop/push got really strong. So I told the nurse and they checked me. I was fully dilated and they said I could start pushing if I wanted to.
That got me freaked out because it was something new and I wasn't sure how to do it. I was on the bed laying on my left side when they checked me for dilation. They said I could push in that position if I wanted to. So the nurse coached me when to push and how to do it. I was pushing with each contraction and my body started sort of convulsing/pushing on its own. I was having a hard time concentrating but my husband kept reminding me to breath. I would take a deep breath in, and then push with the out-breath.
I pushed for 25 minutes and my sweet little boy was born. It was the most amazing experience ever and I want to say that everyone can do it if they intend to. We are strong and powerful women who were made for it. Its our right. I was able to feel and be so aware of what was happening and I don't think that would have been possible with drugs. The pain and everything else was worth it. And its a kind of pain that is so different. Its pain with a purpose and that is why we are able to do it.