I am a 35 year old woman who had 2 babies in my 20's. A year and a half ago my partner and I decided to have another baby. We discovered at 5 months that she had died in utero. It was devastating and there were many complications that followed.
Now we are pregnant again and I find myself paranoid. I am only 6 weeks but every twinge, bit of spotting and cramp throws me into panic. Do you know of any tips or resources to overcome trauma from my previous experience? Are there any things I can do to help prevent a miscarriage this time?
Thank you very much.
I recommend you start by researching pregnancy nutrition. Excellent nutrition will prevent most pregnancy complications and help you carry a healthy baby to term.
Start with this article: The Importance of Your Pregnancy Diet
Other things you can do are part of your own personal prenatal care routine.
Make sure you're getting gentle exercise. Daily is good but several times a week is nice, too. A gentle routine, such as a daily walk or swim helps keep your blood circulating to move nutrients to yourself and your baby.
Prenatal yoga is another gentle routine you can add that helps your circulation and gives you a chance to get to know your body and breathing for birth.
Taking the time every day to consciously relax will help you a lot, too. Spend time consciously relaxing. This is good for you during pregnancy and it helps you prepare for birth.
Take it as easy as you can. Enjoy your pregnancy (I know, much easier said than done). Rest when your body tells you it needs to – think of it as pampering your baby. We tend to get in the habit of ignoring our bodies signals, and pregnancy is a good time to be extra-attentive to what your body is telling you.
Don't be afraid to say “no” to others if you feel like you can't do something or it will be very stressful. There is nothing wrong with taking special care of yourself during this time. Hopefully people will be understanding. If they aren't, too bad! You can debate it with them when your baby is a few years old 😉
A good technique for you is to visualize yourself having a healthy, happy pregnancy and a smooth, easy birth. What you spend your time visualizing is what your mind will come to believe is true.
Think of a nail and a piece of wood – at first it's not in very far, but if you keep pounding at it with a hammer, it goes into the wood. At first you may be scared and fearful, but if you keep imagining a wonderful pregnancy and good birth over and over and over your mind will come to believe that's what you should be having – and it will do everything it can to make sure you get what you're supposed to have.
I have a workbook dedicated to helping you clear pregnancy and childbirth fears. Check out the page on Fearless Birth.
(NOTE: Trying to balance your pregnancy, life, and getting ready for baby? Use my checklist pack stay healthy (naturally), organized, and confident throughout your pregnancy! Get them here.)